Jen

As an adoptee how do you feel about the issue of abortion?

I will preface and say I'm a Christian, so I believe that supersedes any opinion I'd have of abortion as an adoptee. However, I wanted to respond to these prompts from a different perspective. Not whether pro-life or pro-abortion is the right answer, but more that constituents of both sides need to stop using adoptees as tools for bolstering their arguments. Regardless of how I morally feel about abortion, it is uncomfortable and saddening when I see people use me (re: adoptees at large) as justification either for or against abortion. When people tell me that an unwanted child should be aborted, that hurts me because I was unwanted at one point. When pro-lifers use adoptees as a positive experience to speak against abortion, it makes me sad because I'm spending the rest of my life mourning a genetic, deep-rooted familial connection that was taken from me along with my identity (I am an international adoptee).

How do you feel being adopted has affected your opinion on abortion? 

I think it's personally made me apathetic towards it generally. I personally believe life begins at conception, but instead of getting upset about it like I see so many people, I rather it was just left up to the individual state. They can pass laws that reflect the beliefs of a majority of those that live there. And if someone doesn't like it (for or against the decision), they can leave if it really matters that much. 

Many adoptees have been asked "Aren't you glad you weren't aborted?", what is your response to that? 

It's such a bizarre question to ask. Am I happy I'm alive? Sure. The details of how I got here don't matter. Wishing I was aborted almost feels similar to having suicidal thoughts- a lack of desire to live. I think being an adoptee has made my life much more difficult than it needs to be. And in a perfect world, I would not choose that path for myself. But it's my life and being an adoptee has taught me some valuable lessons that have carried me further than others my age. I grew up quickly but I'm able to appreciate the little things. I have a house, pets that love me, adoptive parents that tried their best, and get to create my own family. It's not perfect but it's mine and I don't want anyone to think they can decide to take that away because I started off unwanted. My birth mothers level of desire for me (or lack thereof) should not get to dictate the trajectory of my life. 

Can you talk about a time when you felt pressured to have an opinion on abortion?

Lliterally all the time. It's such a hot issue and people just parrot what they've been told to by someone on social media (I see this from both sides).