Julia

I dislike when people say “the things that happened to me made me who I am today” because it implies that some good has come out of the bad things that happened. It’s a rare thing and life going on after trauma isn’t the bright light people seem to want to believe it is. Also, it’s not true. Having met my biological family in my 30’s, I know for a fact I am who I am today in spite of the things that happened to me. Most, if not all, of the person I am today has been with me since birth.

When people ask me if I’m thankful I wasn’t aborted, I say something like this: “If you are asking me, knowing that what I know now, if I would choose to live my life over again…I can’t answer that in a way that will make sense to you. But if you're asking if I would choose for another child to go through what I went through for the privilege of living, the answer is no every time.”

There is so much between living and not living that I don’t think people think of when they think of abortion. They assume that having a chance at life is always a good thing and it isn’t. Unless folks are going to start putting resources behind making sure that children born have lives free from abuse and neglect, outlawing abortion is choosing a life for a child that they would not want for themselves and then expecting that child to be grateful for it in the end. Its cruel to force someone to be born and not do what’s necessary ensure their wellbeing.